jack.com.au

I am sweating.

Sometimes the nerves of an impending journey can cause copious amounts of sweat. Gee, this post is less than 140 char - should have twittered it. Sorry world, I'm a bad man.

Dead mans feast.

A man in Texas who was executed on Wednesday, asked for two chicken fried steaks, a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound (450 grams) of barbecue meat, three fajitas, a meat lover's pizza, a pint of ice-cream and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts. 

Prison officials said the man didn't eat any of it.

NRL shows AFL how it is done on a Friday night.

Ok, so  am in Melbourne, have a young kid, don't have pay TV (and never will) , and enjoy sport occasionally. Its 10.15 on a Friday night and channel 7 are just starting the second half. Checking the TV guide, its going to be on until 11.45. Bugger that. I check the score on thescore.com.au, see the saints are all over Freo, and switch it off. I don't care how good Better Homes and Gardens is, its too bloody late and way too bloody late for a crap game like the one that was just on.

So I have just got online to Sydneys TV guide, and low and behold, they are onto their second game of the night. The first one started at 7.30 - good one channel 9. Not only does it start an hour earlier, the games are shorter. Not being a huge sports nut, that suits me to a tee. At least you ge to see a game in its entirety before bed. At least your kids aren't as grouchy in the morning from staying up to late.

In fact, I'll go even further. I would rather go and see the 80 minutes of Melbourne Storm than my beloved hawks. You leave the ground still fresh, not like a draining AFL game of around 2 hours. Throw in the extra 2 breaks of quarter and 3 quarter time and its a long night. Can't the AFL see that it has become the 50 over game when we wnat the 20/20.

My son has been to 1 game of each. He preferred the Storm because of the fireworks and the dude riding the 4 wheel motorbike. He was also less fidgety and didn't seem as vague when the ball was on the other side of the ground. On a big AFL ground, the other side of the ground is the end of the world for a young boy.

Ok, so the AFL diehards probably want more, but hey diehards, what about when you are down by 40 points at half time. I bet if it hadn't cost you so much you would be quite happy to leave there and then. Ok, so 1 in 50 games you may come back for a fine win, buts lets face it, in this era when strong clubs are getting stronger, thats unlikely. Down 20 to nil at half time, an NRL team has every reason to belive it still has a reasonable chance of winning.

Alas, now I am getting down to the detail, but I certainly belive that Sydneysiders are currently much better supported by their TV channel when it comes to their friday night footy. For mugs like me doen here in Melbourne, Its a couple of beers with half a game and then off to bed. Hmmmm it just doesn't seem fulfilling, or attractive.

Why doesn't channel 10 bid for the A league and put it one of  their second channel friday nights at 7.30 in both cities. Hmm, that would certainly set the cat amongst the pidgeons. Maybe powerbrokers have paid for this not to happen already. You see many of us don't really care what sport it is. We just wanna see a fast game, a competitive game and a game that finishes by about 10.30. A game with a beer on a Friday night. Thats all we want.

 

 

Masterchef the musical.

Iv'e done something good in life. Na na na na-na-na na na na na-na-na na na na na-na-na. If you've been getting your daily dose of Masterchef, you'll know that that's the piano music when someone is getting complimented for the wonderful texture in their flumry.

Then their is the euphoric sounds of the immunity pin, the tension of presenting a dish and of course the dumbo music when someone is doing something silly.

Why can' they put the whole album out? I want to live my life by this. My mp3 player can pump this out into my brain all day. I will live with euphoria, experienceing all emotions.

Please someone send me the music, without all the talking. I am desperste for the music. Dun - dah - dah - dah - dun -  dah dah dah - dun. Otherwise, please, someone do a mash-up to the Aussie series like this one below.

"It's freezing in here", "I'm so cold", "Did you turn the heater down?"

Just yesterday, the Australian government announced the details of the carbon tax. It was timely, as last week my household just received a gas bill for $419. It seemed outrageous, but at the same time last year it was $379 - that just didn't sound so outrageous. A little question time around the office and it seems I am not alone. Why do we all use so much gas?

Its not the stove or the hot water as they use bugger all. The only culprit can be...... the central heating.

Ok, so we live in Melbourne, and it has been a cold winter. Not globally warming you say? Actually, my friends in Auckland have had a really warm winter, so lets not jump the gun.

So its more than just all the old homes with crappy insulation that haven't been intelligently designed to capture the northern winter sun. It's about the ones who can't get out of the bed until the timer kicks in on the central heating and its three quarters the way to 22 degrees. They then spend 20 mintues in the shower purely because they don't want to turn it off and face the cold.

They really feel the cold. Their also the one that mozzies really love. This year has been even harder because the economic decline means the EXPECTED trip to Queensland may have to be changed to Sorrento. Quite often this miserable person also CANNOT FUNCTION until they have had a non-instant coffee. You let them get cold without a latte and it is so unbearable, that you ensure that this does not occur.

Yes, they have to be  able to walk around the house in winter dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and of course a smiling face.

Get in the car after they have driven in winter, and the control on the heater is turned up to like 28. Yes, they were so cold when they got in that they had to turn the dial as fast and as high as they could so as it could have instant effect. For one fleeting moment, they wish the car was a large sandwich toaster. Of course it takes time because the engine is starting from cold and so for some moments, its freezing cold.

Remember when we were kids. Mum never allowed the heater to go on before school. If you inquired, you were told to go and put another jumper on. Yes, you were up and about, and off you went. The heater hadn't been on - and you lived.

 

What's the world coming to.

A mate of a mate just told me he is trying to get a job down at the new desalination plant at Wonthaggi. When you get there and start working, you are told by other staff to slow down. "We've gotta drag this out as long as possible". My mate's nickname is blister - cause he always appears after the work's done. He's hangin to get a jo there that involves walkin around with a clip board. There is even rumoured to be one guy there who gets $2000 a week just to sit and watch a red button. Whe the red button goes off, he has to push it back on. Are we paying for this?

Can the one guy now subscribing to this blog confirm this. Do you know anything. You could be the first 'real' comment we have ever received. When this blog is read by tens of people in years to come, you could become quite famous (within this blog). We'll give you a guest writers spot. It would have to better tha the shite that has been put out so far. Who is the dickhead writing this? Stop him from going any

This is what the jack.com.au venture capitalists think about all this:

The last leaf has just fallen.

The magnolia tree in the back yard had dropped all its leaves bar one. This one was the biggest one. Little children had tried to knock it down with a stick, but to no avail. It had hung around and hung around until it was the last big leaf.

While this was going on, I was having thoughts about curtailing an activity in my life. It involved going out and being a bit wild. Letting whats left of the hair down, so to speak. Somehow last night, I ended up at a party that was pumping (I have a knack of bumping into someone going to these events, and yes you will usually find me in the kitchen).

As it turned out, although I felt young, it suddenly dawned upon me that most of these people were 10 years younger than me. That's 10 years fresher and much more able to party much more harder than little old frailing me. What may have turned out to be an all nighter, turned out to be an early exit for me. It all happened when I walked past a mirror while alone. Looking at myself, I looked tired and old. "Get out of here" I said to myself.

As I reached the kitchen, fellow party goers were entrenched in wasted conversation. It was all such 30 something jibber. Even though I was a momentary novelty, I was irrelevent and wouldn't be required to liase with any of these people beyong tonight - unless I wished to be used first and then torn up by one of the more tormented  people there who would be more naturally more attracted to crony me.

Bang, a light bulb moment. Say goodbyes, hail a taxi (got lucky there) and quickly home to where I belong. Any glimmers of that past life are left behind. Abuse from partner for being late and then kids  unmercifully  unleashed on me at 6.45am. No choice but to face the music which at least this time is not deafening. Can't tell them that this was the last time - they are sure there will be a next time. For me, I am not so sure. Any final strands of connections were cut away last night. It just no longer did it for me. Maybe, I grew away.

After numerous morning chores, I sat outside, under that magnolia tree with a cup of tea. My guilt was hurting more than my head. I am no longer 'young' and now I am over pretending to be so. Was last night that  last leaf of the tree for me. It must have been, because as I looked up, that last leaf did drop from that tree. The fall was quick, callous and unspectacular. There was no bang, just a paling of significance, of being that last leaf on the tree.

 

Bob Katter - he's comin to get ya !

 

Would have to be the Chaser -thanks boys !

Are the climate sceptics showing a slight rattle.

Wow, Cate Blanchett has got under a few peoples skin by supporting climate change. Don't you love the fact that regardless of the argument, you have fired up Alan Jones, Tony Abbott and Barnaby Joyce in one fowl swoop. There is a slow creep of people coming out from under rocks who want to do something about the climate. Regardless of whether global warming is true or not, there are people who want to live a bit cleaner, who like to own worm farms and who are glad that somebody is speaking up.

What makes me laugh is listening to right wing 'extremest agenda for sensationism' radio stations  slate someone who stands up to them but then says 'I respect your right to have an opinion' (and I don't want to lose you as a listener because of my ratings).To see Abbott queing up to talk to these grumpy men and minimising his clashes with Tony Jones makes it all seem sadder.

Pressures on households are acute, but lets face it, utilities bills are just a trickle. The real increase is the value that prices of houses have gone up by, and the fact that we suckers have bought into it, just so our kida can go to some zoned school.

Good on ya Cate. I like you even more. You have stood up for what you believe in, in an area where others are afraid to be minced up by those who won't consider change of any kind that may affect their capitalist superiority. Let others come out from under the rocks. The masses will only believe those that are natural leaders and will fill them with confidence. Someone under a rock may just have that talent.

There are also some smart cookies on the other side but can they convince themselves that maybe their end time on this planet is closer than others and that its time they planted a tree now that in 25 years time is a 25 year old tree. Yes, its the next generation. Can't you leave them something? Can't you live without a latte with a plastic lid? Can't you drink tap water?

Its probably over 2 long years till the next election. Plenty of time to see the Jones/Bolts squirm. They are so righteous.......but their mates are not in power..........so they are really quite mute, lacking true power in their speech. Within a few years they will be gone.

Labor vs Liberal, Fairfax vs News Ltd,  AFL vs League, Woolies Vs Wesfarmers, etc vs etc, he vs she, - why don't you all get fucked? Why don't I get fucked? Because it is all about me.

Enjoy The Ride

Wow, a road safety ad that doesn't upset us. Not only that, it inspires in all facets of life. Well done to the sandgropers who are responsible for this. Very mature.